Love openly and often, don’t be stingy with your words, actions and relationships. You will get hurt along the way, so prepare yourself for that. But when you open up to people in a positive way, it can be remarkable how they respond. Friends, family and partners – all love is an adventure, don’t turn your back on it.
At the same time, don’t spend your life with someone who doesn’t love you the way you are. There are millions of people out there, don’t stand for abuse, neglect, or joyless love.
We all have our faults, insecurities, needs, and issues, never forget that when you are exasperated with someone they are also likely putting up with your shit.
Not everything is about you. Sometimes you have to put your ego aside and realize there are things happening and you can either deny it or be part of the solution.
Going along with that, practice self-awareness. Know who you are, but also consider what you can become. Don’t become obsessed with your faults, at the same time don’t just accept that you always have to live with each one. We all change, so we might as well strive for it to be positive.
Have an adventure. Humanity is steeped in storytelling, so add your own story. Find people who can tell a good tale and learn from them, not only how to tell a story yourself but how to live so your life becomes something worth telling.
Be open to ideas and contrary opinions. We can be so quick to lash out against ideas that we don’t agree with that we may fail to learn from them. Why do they think that way? What information do they have that you might have missed? What if you are wrong? No matter how smart we are, all of us fall prey to seeing only info that confirms our beliefs. Don’t become static, let’s continue to evolve.
Continuing a formal education isn’t for everyone, but I encourage you to continue to learn. School fosters critical thinking, and analysis of the information you receive every day might just be one of the most important tools going forward. Being able to sort through the barrage of information we receive every day and process what is relevant, useful, and most importantly, true, is a skill that takes developing and awareness.
If we dislike someone, think about why we do. Is it that they are a terrible person, or just that our hang-ups are magnified by them in some way. Valid criticism is fine, but do not engage in character assassination. If they aren’t a good person, it will show through. Do not lower yourself by becoming part of it.
Self care is important – from the larger things in life to the miniscule. The things you do and habits you form tend to grow and magnify over time. If you take care of your body and mental health, this tends to carry over and help you down the road. Want to play with your children and grandchildren when you get older? Take time to exercise, eat well, address issues before they prevent you from doing the things you love, our bodies aren’t young forever and it creeps up on us fast.
Avoid accruing debt. It is merciless in its ability to accumulate and affect your life down the road. Being poor is one thing, but being at the mercy of bills that you cannot keep up with is a whole other pain. Don’t count on a bailout either, money you think is coming down the road is never a sure thing.
Find something you love doing, and pursue it vigorously. Don’t give up if it doesn’t go your way and first, keep pushing for what you love. It is far more rewarding to be doing something you enjoy throughout your life than slogging through work just to survive.
Take time to make friends, and hold onto the good ones. You should be able to be yourself without fear of rejection around them, but they should also hold you to a high standard so that you can grow and evolve with them. Some partners can come and go, but good friends can be with you for your lifetime. Friends can enhance your life in so many ways from childhood to old age, don’t neglect making these relationships.
Loyalty is important, be loyal to your friends, family and partners. Things that do not deserve your loyalty; jobs, brands and ideas. Corporations will rarely reward your loyalty, they will take what they can get from you until you are no longer beneficial to them. Ideas are important, they can inspire generations and change the world, but they should grow and adapt with you. Never become a slave to an idea.
Travel whenever you can. There is a perspective you can get from seeing how other people live that no amount of reading, TV, or conversation can show you. Seeing the world can open your eyes to so many things. There is an incredible amount of beauty, mystery, and joy in the world, and it is all just waiting for those determined enough to see it.
Try and make your life about something larger than yourself. Whether it is your family, your community, or your passion, it is good to remember to give back to this world. The more we put into the world in our time and our energy, the more we are rewarded with friendships, joy, personal growth, and love. I have tried to dedicate myself to beauty. Not beauty in a surface, materialistic sense, but in an approach to the world. My art, my love, and my enjoyment of the world comes from observation. I try to really see my surroundings, to really notice the details of what is in front of me, and then do my best to share the beauty and light I see with the world. I see ugliness as well, I see and feel hate, but I try not to put that back into the world, it has enough already. Even when I cast my frustrations out, when I write about the darkness, it is about trying to bring that light back to the surface.
Try to laugh a lot. Find music you love. Read what you can. Eat food for enjoyment and for health. Try new things. Get out of your comfort zone once in a while. Pay bills on time. Avoid Nazis. Don’t fall for conspiracy theories. Don’t tattoo partners names or bands. Don’t clip your nails past the white parts or in public. Have good hygiene. Use protection. Go for walks. Learn how to tell a story. Create something wonderful. Enjoy your life.
Be kind. Life is hard, it gets easier when we aren’t all terrible to one another.
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